Monitoring our neurosis is an important part of spiritual growth. It is the sensitivity to know when our subtle triggers have been pulled and deep subliminal fears have been activated.
Yes, we all have levels of neurosis. Its an original wound, a place where we loose our fundamental trust and deploy false strategies to control, that are stimulated by fear. And this is where we have to learn to lean against our natural inclinations. St. Ignatius called this “Agere Contra” or to go against. To recognize where we have become overly “bent” in one direction and to make the reverse bend to compensate.
For example, a person prone to avarice, when invited to donate or give should err on the side of generosity. For them, they need to “over bend” and to go against their feelings of being irresponsible and not protecting or conserving their wealth, which irrationally feels like its running out. To lean the other way despite inner pangs of fear is to be self aware enough to push your way through the irrational fear into freedom.
If we keep leaning into the door of our darkness, and practicing self awareness, eventually we break through into a more spacious arena full of light. Essentially, this is the virtue of humility, to accept the light upon our wound as part of what makes us beautiful.