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The Upper Room

The disciples in the upper room were disturbed by the resurrected Christ.

Jesus asks them “Why are you questioning in your hearts”

We typically question things in our minds, so There is something deeper here that the disciples are wrestling with.

We are so afraid of loosing what we have, we grasp and cling to the familiar and we fear the unknown. Jesus is the great un grasper.”He did not count equality with God as something to be grasped but emptied himself”. His self emptying love transcends all barriers, even death.

The challenge of belief is much more than an intellectual ascent of the mind. At its root, it is a decision of the heart, a movement of the whole person. It’s really a decision to let go and risk answering loves call.

Do not be shocked when Jesus appears in your little space. Do not withdraw, or fear. He invites us to touch Him in the disguise of neighbor, daughter, brother, son, stranger. Touch him in the universal wound we share. Discover Him in your humanity. Answer Loves call.

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Joey’s Pizza

A little jewel in the south far away from New York is an authentic New York experience. Joeys is only open four hours a day and no weekends. It’s in a run down industrial park with no other restaurants within  miles. The line wraps around the building. When I reached the counter there was Joey, his wife and two adult children feeding the masses. I hesitated for about two seconds not sure about the pepperoni or the plain and Joey shouts for all to hear, “Come on you’ve been in line for hours and you don’t know what you want?” He didn’t wait for my response, just shouted to his daughter “give em one of each”.

I sat down to wait for my slices and just watched the drama unfold. The daughter was doing everything and it looked like she had eight arms like an octopus, throwing slices in ovens, sprinkling oregano on other slices, serving up salad and pasta simultaneously. Sweat pouring down her face, mascara smeared from the corner of her eyes. she had a ghoulish look about her but she kept a forced smile pasted on permanently while calling everybody “hon”, hon just wait Hun, Its coming hun. The mother stood by the cash register and punched keys, she seemed detached, and had clearly given up control to her daughter.   The son stood in the back staring into his iPhone looking like a deadbeat, do nothing.

A family of six sitting next to me received their 24 inch cheese pie. Steam rising, cheese still in a loose and watery state. I wondered if they would wait three or four minutes until it was perfect for eating or just dive in and and burn the crap out of their mouth’s. It’s amazing to watch human nature, of course they could not wait, they grabbed at slices, pulling them from the mother pie, leaving the cheese behind, and holding up empty crust, and then feverishly trying to scoop the hot heaps and ropes of mozzarella back on to the pie.

All the while Joey is behind the counter cracking jokes and putting on a bit of an act for the whole restaurant. As small sampling of his one liners: “I’m supposed to be retired and look at me sweating my ass off at 65”. “There must be a better way”  “Ah Whadaya gona do”, “hey everybody we have no waitresses but we still take tips here behind the counter”

Finally my two slices came and I could taste my  my old town in NJ, and yes I burned my mouth  but somehow it was worth it.

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Mothers Joy and First Steps

I’m at BWI waiting for a flight to Boston. My mind is on business and all the things that needs to get done today. As I type an email, I notice a woman and child. She is about 30 years old, red top, slender, plain face but magnetic smile and joyful emerald eyes. Her little one is taking his first steps. In an instant busy heads look up from screens, and taught faces soften into smiles. A transient, isolated mass becomes an instant human community awakened in the present moment. It’s was so brief, but the beauty so powerful as to interrupt and trump everyone’s self importance.

As I sit on the plane waiting for takeoff, I make this journal entry and the beauty of the moment hangs around me like a perfume.

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“He did not count equality with God as something to be Grasped” (Phil 2)

Was their an easier way for our God to save us?  Why did he  “empty himself”?

Why did he chose to lead us on such a humble path out of our bondage into freedom?

Perhaps it was the only way to truly reverse the sin of Adam. To lead humanity from its addictive illusion of autonomy and power back to the reality of dependence upon him and intimacy with God. Maybe it was the only way to completely heal our original wound, from the inside out, and return us to a garden more beautiful than Eden.

Why do we “Grasp” ?

Grasping is an act of trying to hold on tightly to something we fear we might lose or can not keep. It is as old as the temptation in the garden. To seek to control an outcome rather than depend on a gift. To put ones life above love.

The deceiver says, surely you will not die, for your eyes will be open and you will become like God. But Adams grasping led to just the opposite, it opened a deep wound, a tear in the fabric of humanity, a degradation of our power to love.

Grasping is both an act of fear and pride. Fear that the gift cannot be counted upon, and pride that I should not need to have to rely upon it at all.

God emptying himself into our humanity is the great Un-grasping, the reversal. It turns all of history, which is about the will to power and control, upside down. It’s the triumph of love over self preservation. Its the conquering of death.

Jesus opened himself up. This is the great symbol of the cross which is the heart of Christianity. He became loves victim. Into the Fathers hands he placed his life. And that love and obedience raised him to life.

Can I cease from my grasping? Can I truly put my life in His hands and trust in Him?

That is the question of Easter.